What my heart knows about God

Recently I was charged with the task of sitting down and writing what I know about God. However, this is not a "know" as in mere "knowledge". This was meant to be from the heart, from a place of intimacy with Jesus. You can have knowledge about someone and no intimacy, but as you allow intimacy to take place, knowledge comes naturally.

So here, in a raw way, is what my heart KNOWS about the Father:

I know that God loves me more than I could ever love myself or be loved by anyone else.

I know that his is a perfect love. It's perfect, unfailing love because he is faithful and committed to us and not going anywhere. He 100 percent cares about our hearts. He 100 percent cares about my heart.

 If I had it my way I would be a person who is lazy, arrogant, selfish, prideful, insecure, depressed, anxious, and fearful (among other things). But God knows what I need and he knows how to get it to me.

I'm not just talking about physical provision (although he does that as well), I'm referring to what I need to become "complete, lacking nothing" as the apostle Paul states. He continues to raise the bar in my life for what it means to look like him and to follow him.

That is ultimately how I know that his is a perfect love and more spectacular than what I could ever give to myself. He does not hold back from putting me in uncomfortable places, speaking truth into my life, and providing a place of rest. Supernaturally in his grace he portions all of that out in ways that I can receive and act on it. His timing is wonderful. 

He is more than just a God who goes around cleaning up our messes. He is proactively teaching us and putting us in spaces where the Holy Spirit can work in and through us for reasons that we may never understand. He is committed to redeeming our past, working in/through us in the present, and guiding us into maturity for the sake of our future.

I know that God is love, and that statement has taken on a whole new meaning as we have walked together through victory and struggle. I know that He is Lord, and that I want him guiding the way, and not simply sitting next to me as I dictate where we go.

My Rejected Friend part 2

I have recently had to come to terms with some pretty major weaknesses I possess, and as a result make some very humbling decisions. The tendency here is to buy into the lies that I'm only as good as what I have or the things I do. Even worse, I might be tempted to buy into the lie that I'm only worth comparing to others and hold no value of my own.

It's easy to get caught up in our own world isn't it?

We let things like fear, anxiety, and our need for control shape our daily actions. If left unchecked, over time the most gentle spirit can turn into a hardened soul.

I recently had an interaction with a notorious member of our community here in Canton. This person and their past has always been such a mystery to me. I have watched them literally lie, cheat, and steal just to make it through the day. Social pleasantries? Forget about it. They will come straight up to you and demand you give to their personal cause.

I don't know too much about them (mostly because it's hard to have a real conversation), but have had enough interactions to know that most of their thoughts center around their own existence, and that I have often acted in the same manner.

Who of us hasn't believed the world to revolve solely around us at some point?

Whether it's a complete focus on how much we hate ourselves, or being incredibly prideful, when the focus is completely on us it throws our lives out of balance and acts in direction opposition to our ability to love others in a sacrificial way.

What's needed is a perspective shift.

"How great you are, Sovereign Lord! There is no one like you,  and there is no God but you, as we have heard with our own ears."

- 2 Samuel 7:22

"I know that you can do all things (Lord); no purpose of yours can be thwarted."

- Job 42:2

The first statement is part of a prayer from King David in the book of 2 Samuel. By that point in his life, David had undergone a lot of tragedy and strife, yet still found it in his being to worship the Lord in genuine awe of who He is.

The second statement is from Job, right after he had just lost everything. I mean everything. Maybe more than you or I will ever lose.

These 2 experienced huge personal hardship in their lifetimes. They had every reason to renounce God, focus on themselves, and let their hearts fill with bitterness. They chose to put their personal stuff aside and acknowledge the bigness and goodness of God.

We have that choice today. We have that choice to acknowledge that we are small, yet loved by a big God who created the universe. What God did by sending his son Jesus in human likeness to die for us is huge when you consider how fleeting our existence is. We matter to God.

I love my friend that I described earlier. Many in Canton have written him off, shunned him from their establishments and lives. "There's no hope for him" people say.

I say that with God all things are possible. I say that behind his misdeeds is a human being who has been ultra wounded and taught that he is worthless. Can you blame him for focusing on himself?

We have the opportunity in this lifetime to realize how big God is, realize how much he loves us, and take part in a story much larger than ourselves. We don't have to let our hearts harden, and we don't have to give up on those who have.

The Rest is History

I saw your best friend tonight
she said you're doin fine
I replied I used to know you
and she told me of the time

She told me how you met your love
as if it were divine
all the while never knowing
you used to be mine

I'd hoped things would turn out ok
I wanted you happy
She said your eyes met that day
the rest is history

Oh you may forget what we once had
that's fine, because we're through
what hurts is your blank memory
when I can't forget you

I remember when I held you tight
thanked the stars for what we had
you replied I'm glad to know you
and you told me of the time

You told me you had met your love
as if it were divine
In fact you said that love was me
and that day you were mine

I'd hoped we would turn out ok
I would always be happy
you dumped me in a sad display
and now I'm history


Oh you may forget what we once had
that's fine, because we're through
what hurts is your blank memory
when I can't forget you

The last verse will be much like us
it will be short and sweet
because I cant take another friend
who never knew our history.

Following Requires Movement

"Following requires movement" - Kyle Idleman

Following requires movement. If you are wondering why that's the 3rd time you are reading that phrase, it's because it holds such a great deal of wisdom for our lives and our relationship with Jesus.

It captures God's desire for our lives. That we would follow him and take the terrifying next steps to move from belief to action, from feelings of hope to stepping out in faith, from being a fan of Jesus and taking the "broad road" that's leads to destruction to being a follower and entering through the "narrow gate."

Now, you have to understanding something about me. I have a great tendency to mentally grasp a concept, speak about it, cast vision for it, write about it (often in this blog), and after all that MAYBE I will take action on it.

I am a well spoken human being. I do not struggle to communicate in an eloquent fashion. I fully acknowledge that as a gift from God, a sign of his grace, and something that has taken a very long time with many mistakes to be worked out.

However, I GREATLY struggle with being a guy who puts action and weight behind his words. As I think about it, I don't believe that makes me too different from many people on this earth. It's very easy to have belief and words that are separate from action.

Listen to what Jesus says in Matthew 16: 24-25:

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.'"

The call is clear: Follow me. Don't talk about following me, don't pretend like you follow me, but actually follow me.

Following Jesus requires movement. It requires both you and I making sure that our words and actions are one in the same and that, most importantly of all, they both flow out of a relationship with Jesus where we know Jesus and are fully known by him. (aka intimacy)

Before I wrote this post, I made sure that I actually took some hard steps in my life that I had been putting off. You better believe I felt empowered to take those steps because of the community of people I have willing to represent Jesus and speak both grace and truth.

You better believe I texted every one of those people after I took those steps today. THEN I wrote this blog.

I leave you with 2 questions:

What is the next step Jesus has been asking you to take with him?

Who is going to keep you accountable and take that step with you?

Remember. Following Jesus requires movement. Let's stop standing still.

Does God Know What He is Doing?

That is one of many questions I have asked myself lately.

Could He be wrong about the direction my life should take? Can he be distracted from his love for me? Can that love change? As I mess up, can God be shaken by my misdeeds? Can I change God? Can my circumstances?

I think if any of us said we have never doubted God, we would be lying to ourselves.

While at first glance those questions don't sound very becoming of a follower of Christ, they are a reality of our broken humanity. As much as we try to follow Christ, to be like him, and obey his will, life will inevitably lead to times when we find ourselves questioning God.

I believe at those points there are 2 ways to handle it.

1. We can feel terrible for ever doubting God and put ourselves through a good amount of shame and guilt until our behavior is corrected.

or

2. We can be honest about it, share it with God (and others we trust), and work through it.

I prefer the 2nd way.

Questioning God is normal, and is sometimes born out of arrogance, sometimes born out of fear and anxiety. Both ways are ultimately prideful, because they are our way of saying "I know what is best and God does not."

Folks, I have to be honest, we don't know whats best. Believe me, it is a battle I am fighting with God even now. Trying to tell him how things should be. Yet time and time again and I humbled to realize, God really does know what he is doing.

And no, even though we as humans can be easily shaken, God cannot.

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe."

(Hebrews 12:28 emphasis mine)

I dont know what shakes you to the core, what makes you question God. But I do know that without a doubt, God is faithful and that he really cares about us and who we are becoming.

Much of life is about how we interpret or making meaning of the circumstances surrounding us. We can choose to view life through the lens of God's love for us and faithful plan to mature us and grow our character, or we can view ourselves as victims caught in an endless cycle of tragedy and pain.

I'll make a deal with you. Next time we both feel the desire to question God, lets put the accusation and hurt on pause, and instead seek a different perspective on the matter, because there is a good chance that what we perceive as God being against us is really the opposite.

Run Away.

Ever feel like you want to run away from it all?

I do on many occasions. Maybe more times than I can count as of late.

The reasons are always different. Sometimes good. Like the desire to travel, or to be a part of what God is doing on a global scale. Sometimes circumstances just feel too overwhelming, relationships with people are getting tougher, or I feel burnt out.

I know of a student right now who has pretty good reason to run away. Life at home feels like a daily hell. Things got so bad recently that they tried to escape home by throwing a mattress out of a second story window so they could jump out of their room, land on the ground, and run away.

In the present moment, there are multiple authority figures in play handling the situation. Issues are being worked on. But regardless of the efforts to try and create a healthy environment for this individual, things at home remain tumultuous.

My heart breaks for this student, because I remember a past filled with a tough home environment, and it was no fault of 1 individual, but a perfect storm of stress, anxiety, and fear all working together. I was as much a contributor to my rough home life as anyone else, because when you live in poverty and in isolation from healthy community, all you know is pain, hopelessness, and stress.

I also know of many friends my own age, including myself, that are experiencing times of painful growth. Reality is setting in, God has character issues to work out with us internally, the world around us feels increasingly more like a cage. Life feels like a daily hell.

Though different, both circumstances involve feelings of hopelessness, frustration, fear, and a desire to escape.

I want this student, and so many like them that I know, to be able to escape from the hellish environment they face daily. But more then anything I want them to know their worth as a human being, and the power that lies in the love of Jesus. I want to see them out of unhealthy places, and into ones where they are shown this love firsthand by the community around them.

I want this for my friends who want to escape as well. I want to see healthy community form that keeps them accountable to maturing as people and engaging in their weakness. I desire to see growth in myself and those around me, the kind of growth that can only happen by facing our fears and the places we avoid, by letting Jesus walk through the dark places with us into maturity.

My point is that running away isnt always an option. Whether its a student in an awful home environment that has no where else to go, or friends that can go, but God is having them stick around to face up to their weaknesses.

Life can feel like hell. Period.

We all want to escape sometimes. God has much more for us than we could ever hope for or imagine in times of fear. God has a plan to redeem this student's life as he did mine, God has a plan to grow us in maturity and character so that we wont be lacking anything as his followers.

The point is that God has a plan. There is hope, no matter what we are up against, there is hope.

"We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm & secure." - Hebrews 6:19

Community

Sometimes I think back to my earliest years as a teenager and the perspective I had of the world then.

You see, I wasnt exactly "popular" by any stretch of the imagination, quite the opposite really. I spent most weeks at home watching tv or playing video games. I didnt really leave the house except for school, and just didnt seem to have much interaction with people at all.

I can remember lying in bed most nights thinking to myself "What on earth would it take to get people to like me or to even want to be around me?"

I felt hated, neglected, insecure, lonely, and unwanted.

This continued for many years until I started getting into the youth group at the church down the street from me. I went for 2 reasons: Food and Girls.

But there was a third reason that I couldnt express at the time. I wanted to be there because it seemed like in spite of myself, the people actually wanted me to be there, wanted to be my friend.

I felt like I belonged somewhere, even if I didnt know how I felt about what they believed in.

This post is inspired by the last 2 days. My birthday was on Tuesday of this week, and even though I'm 24 and birthdays arent supposed to be cool anymore, I have had friends and family go out of their way to celebrate my birthday over the last 2 days. I never, ever, not even in my wildest dreams would have thought I would have such a wonderful community of people around me.

Many people are like 13 year old Corey. They dont do anything, they dont hang out with anybody, life is stressful and overwhelming, and its a struggle to get out of bed each day. After all, why get out of bed when nobody really cares?

It's not a hard concept. We as humans want to be fully known, to be loved for all that we are. That is what the gospel offers, and subsequently should be displayed through us as followers of Christ. To be the church is be good community for people who have none. It's to be strong where another is weak, to share in brokenness, and to fight for each other.

"Now you are the body, and each one of you is a part of it." - 1 Corinthians 12:27

That verse is a part of a larger dialogue by Paul on the church community and how it should function as a whole. That simple verse illustrates the point that the church is the community that represents the love of Christ, and if we are in Christ we are a part of it.

Christianity isnt played on the sidelines, we dont get to just watch. It is an active thing, we are all vital to redeeming this world.

Dont let fear or pride stop you from playing the role you were meant to play. Lives are at stake, people need healthy community to love and support them. People are walking life out alone, when we as the body should be right alongside them.

You want to see the kingdom come? To see lives changed and people come to know the love of God? Then we must work together, take action, and make sure that no one in our context goes to bed at night feeling uncared for.

"We weren't called to join a church, we were called to be the church." - Goodnight Wednesday

Know you are loved, know you have a place of belonging in the Father. Then show someone else they belong.