Love Danced With You

Tell me, why so afraid
what has become
of the life you once made?

Hope filled your soul
love danced with you
Now you barely move
singin the blues

When it feels like
there's nothing left to lean on
The only way you see
is as strong as you can be

Why so afraid?
These choices you made
you don't have to live with
you don't have to forsake

Flittering by
that joy you once knew
what would you do
if it came back to you?

Get into that mirror
look yourself in the eye
for more than five seconds
I know you might cry

But love follows through
hope, it wont lose
between heartache and pain
you no longer must choose

All you want is to be home
lift your head high
let your soul
no more roam

Bring it on in
this ship's coming through
look yourself in that mirror
you've no more to lose

God does not give up.

When I was about 7 years old I began to collect change in a large, blue piggy bank. For weeks and weeks it became my mission to look under washers at laundromats, soda machines at stores, and under every couch cushion I could get my hands on.

What provoked such a motivation to save money in the heart of this 7 year old? One simple dream that almost every kid in America has had at one point, to go to Disneyworld!!!

The dream to visit Disneyworld represented hope, joy, and peace to me in what was a very tumultuous time in my life. All this little 7 year old wanted was to meet Mickey and go to the happiest place on Earth, because, well, my life was far from happy.

Two days ago, during my visit to Florida, that dream finally came true.

As I stepped through the gate and gazed up at the giant castle right in the middle of the Magic Kingdom, and as I witnessed dozens of popular Disney characters that I grew up with parade right by me, my heart was filled with this deep, child-like joy that began to penetrate through all of the hardness, and I got to thinking.

I thought about the story in Matthew where Jesus welcomes a little child into his lap, and the disciples try to get the kid away from Him. I thought about His teaching on the absolute importance of child-like faith in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven, and as I stood in the very place that represented all my childhood dreams, I finally realized that I am still a child of the living God.

This season of my life has brought much heartache, and has brought a certain hardness to my heart that I can barely explain. But through it all God has stayed faithful and has been right by my side for every second of the doubt, fear, and confusion. There have often been times where I have not been able to see him no matter how hard I tried, but deep in my soul I know he has remained.

Like Lamentations 3:22-23 says "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness!"


I forget what grace looks like so often. I'm so quick to take my guilt and say "This is who I am, I am made up of my mistakes" I often forget that we have a God who doesnt see it like that. He sees us as his beloved children, he sees us as worth fighting for, no, worth dying for. He just does not relent, he refuses to quit walking by us and he does not give up on us, even when we are so quick to give up on ourselves.


We serve a God who is ready and able to taken the broken and bruised things of this world and make them brand new. He redeems the messes we make of our world. He brings beauty from pain. So when it comes to child-like faith, it means believing in him so whole-heartedly that nothing would stop us from getting to him.


As a child I let nothing get in my way from pursuing what I thought would bring me hope. I didnt think about practicality or tell myself "I'm a bad kid, I dont deserve a trip to Disneyworld." I merely believed and trusted with everything in me that it was an answer to my problems.


Kids love, they trust, they hope, no questions asked. I want, I need to be attached to God like that. With every fiber of my being I need to latch on to the creator of the universe and rest in his love. I strive too much, I get burnt out, I try to hard, I work to impress too much.


But here comes a God that simply says "I love you son. I will never give up on you, I will and have sacrificed everything for you, and I would do it again." Tell me that isnt a God worth running towards. Tell me that isnt a God worth having faith in. 


I want to be in relentless pursuit of God, because he is in relentless pursuit of me.

"It's so hot! Milk was a bad choice!"

It is so sweltering hot in my house right now! Seriously, the heat is too much too handle. And as the quote from "Anchorman" that comprises the title of this blog suggests, when its this hot, the least satisfying thing one could drink is milk.

Dairy Products just simply dont have the nutrients or chemical makeup to replace all the water one loses in their body when they sweat. Any dairy product would be a bad idea to consume in a moment of pressure. I mean, could you imagine watching game 7 of the NBA Finals and seeing all the players on the bench with a carton of milk? Or Aaron Rodgers sitting on the sideline at the Superbowl flagging down the trainer to bring him a cup of yogurt after his just scored the winning touchdown? (In case you forgot, let this Browns fan remind you, the Packers beat the Steelers).

No, when the pressure is on, when the heat is turned up, when it's a clutch moment, athletes have to consume the appropriate fuel. If they dont, then they are going to have a hard time succeeding when it counts.

Just as with sports, there are moments in life when the pressure is on, the heat is turned up, and the stakes seem too high. 

A lot of those moments happen during transitional periods in life. Think about someone who is about to get married, in between jobs, finding themselves without a home, having to get some toxic relationships out of their lives, or who just graduated from high school or college.

I definitely fall into that last example having just graduated college. I feel enormous amounts of pressure on my life right now. As a good friend said "time to put on your big boy pants." With the pressurized time comes so much self doubt, doubt in God and others, and a temptation to act in depression and hopelessness for the future.

It causes me to reflect a lot on my past, something I dont like doing, and it forces my true character to come out. 

Unfortunately during this season, more often than not, I have consumed the wrong things spiritually. Knowing that this is a clutch moment in life I have choosen to consume depression, anger, and so much else that is unhealthy spiriutally. I have choosen to walk as my own man and close myself off from genuine connection and relationship with others.

As I think on the path my life is taking, I have been studying the book of Acts. Now these followers of Jesus were doing amazing things almost immediately after Jesus ascended into Heaven. They were preaching the word, being filled with the Spirit, and healing the sick. Peter even heals someone with his shadow!

Here's the catch though. I cant imagine the kind of pressure they must have been under. Think about it, the Lord and Savior of Earth Jesus Christ just rose up into Heaven and charged these 12 with his entire legacy. He essentially said, you are filling my shoes now, I'm passing the torch. He even told them they would do greater things than himself! Talk about pressure! 

However the dicsiples rose to the occasion, but only through the power of the Holy Spirit, and they knew it too. In Acts 3:12, after just healing a man with his touch Peter says "Why do you stare at us as if by our own power or godliness we made this man walk?"

The crowd was astonished and about to turn Peter into a rockstar and he was like, Hold up a minute! This is all because of God's power! Dont think I'm awesome!

I know you want your life to have significance. I know you want to chase your dreams, I know you dont want to be mediocre. But I promise you if you enter into the pressure of life without the Holy Spirit walking in every step with you, if you reject the living water of Christ (John 6:35, John 4:13-14) for the milk of selfishness, worldly pursuit, etc.... then when that clutch moment comes, you are going to struggle to succeed.

I know you may have been hurt, I know it may be hard to trust. But you can trust and hope in God, he isnt going anywhere. Next time you are tempted to think really highly of yourself, or even to think low of yourself, remember that in Christ, through the Holy Spirit, you will accomplish great things for the kingdom. 

Most importantly, know that no matter what, you are significant already.

"Exhaustion" explained.

It's almost 3 am and I am just coming off one of the busiest weeks of my life with more to do in just a few short hours. Quite frankly as I sit here I feel more exhausted than I can remember in a long time, so much so that it is causing me to feel sick.

The larger picture here is that all summer I have been on this non-stop train of having my calendar filled with things to do, places to go, people to see. Yet, I feel some emptiness inside.

So it begs the question, how can I feel this way when I am in so many leadership positions surrounded by so many people all the time? 

"Even in crowds I'm alone" 

The answer for me is quite simple. I have found my identity in about everything besides my adoption as a child of God. I have used anything and everything as a distraction to hide whats truly going on inside.

Ok. We get it Corey. Busy equals bad, God equals good, We've heard it before.

But hear this.

I don't know what has caused you pain in your life, what has damaged you, or what you desire to hide from. I'm sorry, from the bottom of my heart, that you experienced the confusion, hopelessness, and pain that you have at certain points throughout your life.

This was not God's intention for you, when he created you it was to be in close relationship with him, but because we are prone to mistakes, evil things happen. God can take those things and turn them on their head and use them for good. (Romans 8:28)

Please feel God's compassion and heart for you. Let's you and me both stop distracting ourselves from whatever may be truly going on inside that we've yet to deal with. Because your schedule may be full and time may keep moving, but it wont make you exempt from the healing and restoration we all need.

Please stop feeling the need to earn God's approval. He loves you so deeply and passionately.

Part ways with your exhaustion, so that your true identity as God's beloved may thrive.

Exhaustion

Exhaustion.
I feel it, I breathe it, it runs through my veins.
I thrive on it.
Yet It breaks me.

I love it, but I don't understand it.
At the same time I'm nothing without it.
It's all of me.

But maybe this false idol is behind
the empty gaps in my life.
Maybe Exhaustion, has become my wife, my love,
my future, my hope.
My God.

Is it the effect or the cause on which I thrive?
Is it exhaustion or my daily activities
that keep me alive?

Lets cut the questions now.
And I'll tell you this:
I've never been more alone, more afraid
more adept to resist.

Because if I take away, exhaustion.
then what do I have?
My heart and my soul?!
But I havent connected with them in so long.

What If I take away exhaustion
and they stop caring for me?
what if I take it away and the demons inside
never let me be?

We musn't let go of our distractions now
to face the truth inside
God forbid we let Jesus poke around
and see what it is that we hide.

God forbid I part ways with, exhaustion
so that my true identity may thrive.