Exhaustion

Exhaustion.
I feel it, I breathe it, it runs through my veins.
I thrive on it.
Yet It breaks me.

I love it, but I don't understand it.
At the same time I'm nothing without it.
It's all of me.

But maybe this false idol is behind
the empty gaps in my life.
Maybe Exhaustion, has become my wife, my love,
my future, my hope.
My God.

Is it the effect or the cause on which I thrive?
Is it exhaustion or my daily activities
that keep me alive?

Lets cut the questions now.
And I'll tell you this:
I've never been more alone, more afraid
more adept to resist.

Because if I take away, exhaustion.
then what do I have?
My heart and my soul?!
But I havent connected with them in so long.

What If I take away exhaustion
and they stop caring for me?
what if I take it away and the demons inside
never let me be?

We musn't let go of our distractions now
to face the truth inside
God forbid we let Jesus poke around
and see what it is that we hide.

God forbid I part ways with, exhaustion
so that my true identity may thrive.