When I was about 7 years old I began to collect change in a large, blue piggy bank. For weeks and weeks it became my mission to look under washers at laundromats, soda machines at stores, and under every couch cushion I could get my hands on.
What provoked such a motivation to save money in the heart of this 7 year old? One simple dream that almost every kid in America has had at one point, to go to Disneyworld!!!
The dream to visit Disneyworld represented hope, joy, and peace to me in what was a very tumultuous time in my life. All this little 7 year old wanted was to meet Mickey and go to the happiest place on Earth, because, well, my life was far from happy.
Two days ago, during my visit to Florida, that dream finally came true.
As I stepped through the gate and gazed up at the giant castle right in the middle of the Magic Kingdom, and as I witnessed dozens of popular Disney characters that I grew up with parade right by me, my heart was filled with this deep, child-like joy that began to penetrate through all of the hardness, and I got to thinking.
I thought about the story in Matthew where Jesus welcomes a little child into his lap, and the disciples try to get the kid away from Him. I thought about His teaching on the absolute importance of child-like faith in order to enter the kingdom of Heaven, and as I stood in the very place that represented all my childhood dreams, I finally realized that I am still a child of the living God.
This season of my life has brought much heartache, and has brought a certain hardness to my heart that I can barely explain. But through it all God has stayed faithful and has been right by my side for every second of the doubt, fear, and confusion. There have often been times where I have not been able to see him no matter how hard I tried, but deep in my soul I know he has remained.
Like Lamentations 3:22-23 says "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness!"
I forget what grace looks like so often. I'm so quick to take my guilt and say "This is who I am, I am made up of my mistakes" I often forget that we have a God who doesnt see it like that. He sees us as his beloved children, he sees us as worth fighting for, no, worth dying for. He just does not relent, he refuses to quit walking by us and he does not give up on us, even when we are so quick to give up on ourselves.
We serve a God who is ready and able to taken the broken and bruised things of this world and make them brand new. He redeems the messes we make of our world. He brings beauty from pain. So when it comes to child-like faith, it means believing in him so whole-heartedly that nothing would stop us from getting to him.
As a child I let nothing get in my way from pursuing what I thought would bring me hope. I didnt think about practicality or tell myself "I'm a bad kid, I dont deserve a trip to Disneyworld." I merely believed and trusted with everything in me that it was an answer to my problems.
Kids love, they trust, they hope, no questions asked. I want, I need to be attached to God like that. With every fiber of my being I need to latch on to the creator of the universe and rest in his love. I strive too much, I get burnt out, I try to hard, I work to impress too much.
But here comes a God that simply says "I love you son. I will never give up on you, I will and have sacrificed everything for you, and I would do it again." Tell me that isnt a God worth running towards. Tell me that isnt a God worth having faith in.
I want to be in relentless pursuit of God, because he is in relentless pursuit of me.
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